I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
