Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
