my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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