She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
