Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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