Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dude. I can hear the air.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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