so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
