Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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