i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
