Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
