Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
