Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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