READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
