3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize