David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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