It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
