Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?