Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you

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  (313): You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you http://tfl.nu/5wuc
  Replies (5) Good night (887) Bad night (1294)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ...are you coming on to me?

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  (901): I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me. (601): Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly (901): ...are you coming on to me? http://tfl.nu/90vx
  Replies (12) Good night (3439) Bad night (769)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter

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  (914): Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter http://tfl.nu/3hf7
  Replies (128) Good night (2700) Bad night (3895)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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  (609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul
  Replies (22) Good night (713) Bad night (5541)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me

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  (978): literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me http://tfl.nu/9ayb
  Replies (41) Good night (5839) Bad night (1379)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth

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  (520): I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth http://tfl.nu/4taz
  Replies (13) Good night (1265) Bad night (4145)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.

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  (860): They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm. http://tfl.nu/gqaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1769) Bad night (803)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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  (479): Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/7jgb
  Replies (2) Good night (1387) Bad night (527)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday

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  (808): Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday http://tfl.nu/8jtv
  Replies (11) Good night (1774) Bad night (715)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".

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  (443): I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over". http://tfl.nu/6ral
  Replies (0) Good night (588) Bad night (795)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.

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  (832): We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad. http://tfl.nu/9s88
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (460)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?

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  (309): Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety? http://tfl.nu/ikg5
  Replies (2) Good night (685) Bad night (364)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found

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  (803): we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found http://tfl.nu/ms3o
  Replies (5) Good night (308) Bad night (1024)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?

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  (651): I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this? http://tfl.nu/kchb
  Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.

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  (313): YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you. http://tfl.nu/1elk
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (262)

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