He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.