And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.