My nipple is on Facebook.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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