i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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