just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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