whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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