plz talk dirty to me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
