he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
