At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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