i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
