So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
