I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am naked and annoyed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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