I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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