My brain says no but my pants say off.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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