I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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