My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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