Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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