im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
