Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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