Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
