he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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