3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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