Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
