Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize