i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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