In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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