i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
