if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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