absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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