and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
