Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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