I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize