This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
