I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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