just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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