that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
