omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
