Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
