You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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