If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
