He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
