no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
