Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
