She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
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New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.