everyone is single if you try hard enough
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god