How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
