I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
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Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
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Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!