Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize