My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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