I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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