...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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