who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
